


Warmth

by Crimsonyxx



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, F/M, Hallucinations, Hydra (Marvel), Insanity, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Supernatural Elements, Time Skips, Tragic Romance, Unstable Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-09-17 22:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9349223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crimsonyxx/pseuds/Crimsonyxx
Summary: "Bucky... he died in action.""I miss you, James.""I'll come back to you. Always. I'll never leave you doll.""You're not gonna like it, cap. Neither do Barnes.""The woman was long gone after all."The evening breeze ran through his chestnut locks gently. Sun shining ever so brightly but it didn't sting his war scarred skin.It was warm.





	1. Bittersweet

Silence. 

It was the only thing filling up the room ever since he left. Fighting for his country. Doing what was deemed for men at this age. No more laughter, no more jokes, no more sweet kisses, bear hugs, yells, nor an argument. 

Everything was gone with him, 

including your heart. 

The events that evening kept playing in your head. Like a broken piece of memory. 

Soft knocking on the door. Heart leaping excitedly, thinking that he'd come home. 

But there's no sight of him. 

A tall blond man was the one who greeted you. 

He was the one who told you those words.

"Bucky... he died in action."

You closed your eyes shut.

"We couldn't retrieve his body from the site. I'm.... so terribly sorry ma'am." Sorrow evident in his handsome features. Blue orbs held so much grief. The man was obviously broken. Voice thick with regrets.

The whole world went black after that. Your body suddenly felt extremely heavy. Gravity seemed to multiply its strength enormously. Tears falling helplessly from your eyes. Desperate sobbing escaped your mouth unwillingly.

You almost fell straight to your knees if the man didn't catch you in his strong arms. Holding you like there’s no tomorrow. Trying to ease yours and his pain. 

He left the both of you too soon. 

He left this God forsaken earth too soon.

He left you alone too soon.

You cried your lungs out until there was nothing left to pour. 

Your heart ached tremendously,

and it still did until this very day. 

 

You lied down on your shared bed. Obviously too big for one person. 

Your hand smoothed out the spot where he used to be. Where he would gaze at you lovingly with his captivating aqua hues. A slight crease forming at each end of his eyes. Smile plastered on his face all the while. His big, calloused palm would gently caress your locks, ending with a peck on your forehead. 

You sighed at the fond memory. Heart still helplessly yearning for him. 

"I miss you, James." 

You shut your eyes once again. Tears threatening to fall for the millionth times.

"So so much."

~*~

The evening breeze ran through his chestnut locks gently. Sun shining ever so brightly but it didn't sting his war scarred skin.

It was warm. 

Sighing contently, he bathed himself in the sun for a couple more minutes. His eyes fluttered close. Indulging himself into that very moment.

"Bucky? What're you doing?" 

His lips curved upwards upon hearing the voice. Eyes still tightly shut. 

"Just enjoyin' the nature. Moments like this doesn't come often y'know."

She chuckled and his heart fluttered. Chapped lips smiled even wider. 

"Oh please. You acted like you're not gonna come here tomorrow and the days after tomorrow." 

He finally opened his eyes to be greeted by your sweet face. The sun shone warmly on your features. It was breathtakingly beautiful. 

"You know me so well, doll"

Taking a seat beside him, you smugly replied;

"Of course I do. I'm not your wife for nothing." 

And he laughed. The sound filling the evening sky. 

"Sure you are, baby girl" he draped an arm around your figure before pulling you close. You rested your head against his shoulder. Eyes gazing at the captivating view.

"I wish we can stay like this forever, buck"

"Me too. Me too, doll."

 

"But I got work and things to do, you know that right?"

When you didn't reply Bucky placed his palm onto your face, lifting it gently to make you look him directly. Your orbs were evident with worry. Eyebrows furrowed together.

"I'll come back to you. Always. I'll never leave you doll." He stared deep into your hues. 

"Besides, I'm not alone. We got a bunch of super people now. And Steve's with me too. So there's nothing for you to worry about." 

He caressed your cheeks softly, attempting to soothe your worries away. You smiled at his actions.

Suddenly, a beeping noise was heard. Halting your interaction. Bucky shoved his hands into his pocket, picking his phone up. 

"Speakin of the devil. It's Steve." He flashed a smirk your way before answering. 

"What's up Stevie." A deep chuckle was heard from the other line 

"Hey Buck. Sorry to ruin your fine evening but a mission suddenly came in. It's urgent. They're about to give some details out." 

Bucky replied with a long huff. 

"You sure got that right. You're ruinin' my moment with (y/n)." 

There was a long pause. 

Far too long. 

"Hey Steve. You still there?" 

"Oh? Oh yeah fine. Anyways come quickly to the tower. Got that?" He soon ended the call. 

Shoving his phone back where it belonged, Bucky turned his attention back to you. An apologetic smile decorating his face. 

"Sorry doll, something just came in. You wouldn't mind walking home on your own? I swear this won't take long" 

"Sure. I'm an independent woman after all." He chuckled upon hearing your playful response. 

"Perfect. See you soon babygirl." He placed a quick peck against your forehead. 

"Go home before it's dark okay? The street’s not safe." 

"I know I know you don't have to tell me. Just focus on your work." He gave you one last smile before heading out. It didn't take long for his figure to be out of sight.

 

Looking at the clock, Bucky was beyond thankful that the briefing didn't drag out for too long. It's 8 pm. He promised to be back soon and he intended to do so. He already missed you so much. It's kinda weird thinking about it. He just met you a few hours ago but it felt like ages. Bucky chuckled to himself. 

**You're actin' like a lovestruck teenager all over again, Buck.**

He raked his metal fingers through his chocolate locks. Smoothing them out. He was ready to leave before his best friend showed up. 

"Goin' home already, buck?" He asked, leaning his well built frame onto the opened glass door. 

"Yea. Wouldn't want to make (y/n) waitin' for too long." He placed his flesh arm on Steve's shoulder before flashing a smile. 

"See you later, punk." And with that he scooted away. Leaving the blond man alone inside the meeting room. Steve let out a heavy sigh as he walked to the chairs. Sinking himself in. He pressed his fingers to his temples, trying to ease the headache away. 

"What's that look for, cap?" The one and only Tony Stark waltzed into the room. A cup of beer in his hand, sheets of papers on the other. 

"Hey tony. Just... it's about Bucky." His blue orbs casted downwards. A familiar tug in his heart. 

"Metallica? What about him?" Tony, as nonchalant as ever, put the papers down to the desk before sipping his beverage, using the table for support. 

 

"Any progress?" 

Steve shook his head a no. Face still filled with sorrow. 

"Anyways, I got the records you asked me to. It's a fucking mess." He took another sip before continuing. 

"You're not gonna like it, cap. Neither do Barnes." 

Steve reached out for one of the paper, Eyes darting across the words carefully. He read it to a certain amount before setting it back to place. A hand covering his eyes. 

"Oh my God... Buck..." His voice was laced with grief. Tony gazed at his friend, a heavy look on his face. It was painful. 

A tragedy. 

None of you deserved it. 

None. 

"You gotta tell him someday, cap." He stared down at his beer. It was tasteless that night. 

"I know." A hoarse voice replied. Broad shoulder hunched down. The billionaire gave a quick glance at the paper before him. Deep brown orbs glinted with sympathy. With a whisper like voice, he spoke; 

 

"The woman was long gone after all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the first chapter of my mini series! hope you guys enjoyed it! I AM planning to update this series once a week. This series won't take that long to finish tho. I guess..... ^^
> 
> And yea, summaries suck.
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
>  
> 
> sorry for any grammatical errors and typos! Constructive critics and suggestions are always welcome!


	2. Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long update! It's finally here! I hope you guys enjoy it!

The road to your house. 

It was quite. 

The moon was high in the sky. Shining ever so brightly.

A certain brown haired man was walking there. His mind empty. Feet dragging his body tirelessly.

He rang the door bell. 

Once.

Twice.

Before long he heard your voice, telling him to wait.

And soon he was greeted with your face. Your (h/c) colored hair was tied in a ponytail. Remnants of oils still evident on your clothes. Indicating your previous occupation before answering the door. Tired, dull eyebags were seen effortlessly through your face. Overworking seemed to start showing its toll on your body. But you still remained as beautiful as ever. You certainly didn’t change that much. Except for the signs of aging that slowly appeared on your features. 

But he didn’t realize any of it.

He couldn’t.

Your (e/c) eyes slowly widened in shock. Your body froze instantly. 

Your mouth absentmindedly spoke of his name.

“Bucky?”

~*~

Bucky was sitting in the meeting room once again. Fingers tapping on the glass table repeatedly. He was undoubtedly restless. He couldn’t shake the thought of you out of his mind.

You’re not home yesterday.

And he couldn’t catch a hold of you.

And for some weird reason,

He didn’t have your number.

His mind was always thinking about where you could have gone to. 

Did someone kidnap you? Did someone hurt you? Is it HYDRA again? Are you in danger? He balled his metal fist. Inhaling a sharp intake of breath while gritting his teeth.

His agitated state did not go unnoticed by his blond friend, who tried cutting the meeting short in response. Bucky was beyond thankful for it.

 

“Hey, Buck. Whats wrong?”

Clenching his fist, he answered “(y/n)’s not home yesterday.”

The blond man’s blue orbs widened slightly, a familiar tug in his heart.

“I looked everywhere, Steve. And she’s not there. W-what if someone took her? What if she’s in danger? I can't-“

“Everything’s gonna be okay Buck.” Steve cut his words short.

“She’s okay.” 

**Oh the lies he told him.**

“You think so?”

“Yea. She’s gonna be back before you know it.”

A small smile crept into his features. “You’re probably right.”

The man stood up from his chair. “Thanks man. I’m gonna head home. Wanna to be there when she comes back.”

Steve couldn’t hide his pressed smile.

“Sure. Sure you do”

And with that, he left he office.

 

She opened the door. Face shocked to the core. Her body rigid.

“Bucky?”

**No. Don’t.**

In a split second, her body was thrown back with so much force. Hitting the wall with a loud bang. Blood beginning to trickle down her forehead.

**No no no no no.**

The man took silent steps towards her. Eyes as dead as ever.

**No. Stop it. Turn back.**

He gazed down at her bruised figure. Her mouth coughing out blood.

“B-bucky?” she managed to spoke his name again.

His metal hand took hold of her neck. Bringing her up to his eye level.

And he saw her struggling for her life as tears came running down her cheeks.

She was crying.

Sobs came out erratically from her shaking body.

“What have they done to you?”

**STOP IT.  
** **LET HER GO LET HER GO LET HER GO.  
** **TURN BACK.**  
**STOP!**

Her smaller hands grip his metal ones.

And it's not in an attempt to pry off the said hand.

She was caressing it.

“I'm so sorry. I should have searched for you. I-“

The grip on her neck got tighter. She choked on air. Her sobs got louder and louder.

“You must have suffered so much.” 

Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. But he heard everything loud and clear. It was The voice he wouldn’t forget for the rest of his life.

“I'm so so sorry Buck.”

Her eyelids grew heavy. Every breath she took pained her body.

And he watched.

He watched as life seeped away from her figure. He watched as her body went limp against his arms. He felt the warmth slowly fading away from his cold fingers. 

And he watched as her beautiful (e/c) orbs turned dull in front of his own.

**NO!**

 

His eyes snapped open. Sweats glistened down his forehead. His breath came out ragged.

What was that?

He immediately sat on his bed. 

What the fuck was that.

He gripped his bed sheets. His knuckles turning white.

It felt real.

**It felt too real.**

His heartbeat picked up its pace. His lips trembled.

What if-

What if it really happened?

No.

It couldn’t be.

It was just a dream.

A bad dream.

A nightmare.

 

“Buck?”

His head immediately whipped around the moment you called his name.

There you were, lying down on his bed.

“What’s wrong?” you spoke softly. Concern evident in your voice. 

And he just couldn’t take it anymore.

He wrapped your smaller built with both of his hands. Hugging you tightly like there’s no tomorrow. Burying his face on the crook of your neck.

“Where the hell were you” his voiced trembled.

“I thought- I thought you left me for good”

Your hand caressed his broad shoulder. Stuttered breath coming out from his mouth.

 

In front of you was a man. A strong man.

A good and loyal man.

A man who was once filled with light and life.

But now he’s broken.

His heart and mind was shattered into pieces. He couldn’t stick it all to where it should be.His body wasn’t his anymore. He struggled to live in the dark. But the light blinded his eyes and the sun stung his skin.

He was nothing more than a lost soul, trapped in the past.

 

“I would never leave you, Buck”

“Never.”

 

The days went on and on just like that. You beside him. Never leaving his side. 

And he was filled with so much happiness just like that.

He didn’t realize how other people would cast him a look whenever he talks to you.

He didn’t realize how you never eat nor drink anything.

He didn’t realize how his companions would look like after he talks about you. 

How sweet and loving you are. 

How he couldn’t live without you.

He didn’t realize any of it.

 

Because he was blinded with your love.

And he was completely okay with it.

As long as you’re still there with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to update sooner and not neglect this series. it's a promise. (sweats nervously). Just rewatched the winter soldier and civil war and I'm in the Bucky vibes again. Cannot wait for the infinity war! and yea I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as well! 
> 
>  
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
>  
> 
> sorry for any grammatical errors and typos! Constructive critics and suggestions are always welcome!


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